These boys can dance REMEMBER THEM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOoNOs8Ql28

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MARCH MADNESS

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JUST TO FUNNY

I DON'T USUALLY DO JOKES, BUT COULD'NT RESIST THESE

1.
A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes . As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.

Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade..'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.

2.
Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church.

They see a big sign posted that says, "Convert to Catholicism and get $100"

One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign.

His friend turns to him and says,

"Murray, what's going on?"

"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."

With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church. Twenty minutes later he walks out with his head bowed.

"So," asks Abe, "did you get your hundred dollars?"

Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"


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The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where the hell he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

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A significant investment of Time

BEER BOTTLE DOMINOS



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WHY I DON'T EAT HAMBURGERS

THIS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF



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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

What I've Learned As I Matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just jerks.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others...
they are more messed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and
there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that the people you care most about in
life are taken from you too soon and all the less
important ones just never go away.

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Corrida de Toros

Even thought the subject line is in Spanish, you do not need to speak Spanish as it is only "viewing". Unbelievable!



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DON'T MISS THIS

Trio Ginoble-Boschetto-Barone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqUkUjeF4-c

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WOMEN TALK

"Bill thought he was the President, too."

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TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

What the hell were the lyrics to Joe Cocker's version of
'A Little Help From My Friends'?

He was so out of it on a multitude of drugs, no one has
been able to understand his garbled, version....until
now!

Click link below for the lyrics .. FINALLY,
IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR!

http://www.elwp.com/Joe%20Cocker.html

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LEMON-ORANGE-EGG

THIS GUY NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME- CHECK IT OUT



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