I DON'T USUALLY DO JOKES, BUT COULD'NT RESIST THESE
1.
A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes . As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade..'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.
2.
Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church.
They see a big sign posted that says, "Convert to Catholicism and get $100"
One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign.
His friend turns to him and says,
"Murray, what's going on?"
"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."
Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"
Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."
With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church. Twenty minutes later he walks out with his head bowed.
"So," asks Abe, "did you get your hundred dollars?"
Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"
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